life changes

its been too long i havent writing about a thing here ;P banyak bgt kejadian'' yg uda terjadi diakhir taon 2007 dan awal 2008 ini ampe gw ga sempet nulis blog!!
bingung gw mau crita darimana, mgkn crita the bad side dulu kali yah.. lets start then, shall we?? critana bermula dr tgl 17 dec kmaren, after i finish my medical treatement for 1 month di Damansara Fertility Centre (not that i wanna have a child) for my period and internal pain so i decided to go home with a blown-off filled stomach!! yup perut gw rasanya mau meledak abis gw selesaiin procedure treatement gw but for the sake of all i had to go back to jakarta tho..
Nah ampe dijakarta, mak gw nanya donk "tu perut knapa?? isi??" isi anak kuda kali yah maksudnya? hehehe after a huge argument with my mom, she send me to PARAMITHA clinic to have my very first USG hehehe maybe my mom still curious that she'll be having a grandchild soon ;P halah pokoknya after the check up she finds out that there something bad happen inside my stomach, which is not a baby in it!! its 8cm and 6cm tumors in both of my ovarium.. hmm its a BIG shock for my mom and I but we manage to get ourself a gynaecolog in the nearby home hospital that confirm us about the tumor..
for some times it looks like it is the end of my world but i manage to collect my self from pieces and i told my self "what are you goin to do??" i felt like it is my time to put things right and now im trying to fix everything one by one.. i try to suspend my study by myself, i try tocare more about what im eating, i try to get close with my family more, and the best thing is i try to think about my future more!!
before i feel like my life drives me slow and i always go with the flow kinda of person but now i can see how limited and how rushing is time for me, i try to set my life wisely and i just hope i can do everything that i've been planned for this last 1 month..

love

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer

No disease that enough love will not heal

No door that enough love will not open

No gulf that enough love will not bridge

No wall that enough love will not throw down

No sin that enough love will not redeem...

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble

How hopeless the outlook

How muddled the tangle

How great the mistake.A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all

If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world...

.....for love we will be strong and for love we will make it happen2973

bad experience

gw lapeeeer... huhuhu kasian bgt siy gw klaperan kayak gini ga bisa masak karna selang gas didapur rusak yg menyebabkan kompornya ga bisa dinyalain trus knapa ga makan diluar?? pasti itu pertanyaannya kan? gw ga bisa makan diluar karana tmpt makan yg depan condo gw tutup tiap hr minggu trus tempat makan terdekat setelah itu males gw datengin soalnya tadi subuh waktu gw ma hosmet gw, plus 1 teddybear angel (that how bazi called him self, i prefer call him barneyangel tou) ada mak rempit, WHT@#!! is that?? hehehe it a group of motorriders who commonly disturbing the society and most of them are malokai with masteng looks ;P gw masi lebih berani ngadepin masteng'' surabaya yg bisa kita temui di sejumlah tempat di KL daripada ngadepin mak rempit yg jelas'' suka ngejambret, mengganggu dgn motor cupu mereka dan the latest thing i heard is they ACTUALLY crashed on some motors just because they wanted the girls who ride it.. huh what a cruel group society rite?? but i dont know why they are still around? the worse thing is why the police here in malaysia didnt take any appropriate and real action about this? because as a foreign in this country i dont feel safe about it.. in fact they tried to snatched my bag 2 times.. for your info, malaysia is the highest city of snatch thief ratings.. my bad experience and the worse thing is theres nobody want to help me, they just too afraid to get involved and they even actually tell me that i should give my bag!! what a weird people is it?? hope this will be getiing better in the next future.. if this things happen in jakarta surely everbody will try to help me even they can get the snatch thief by aseconds and give him a good lesson hehehe i proud with indonesian because we used to have slogan that sounded "kitong semua basudara" we are all family even sometimes it could bring a bad side like peolpe give their own punishment to the snatch thief before they hand in the thief to the police ;) but still i feel saver in my home country..

my sleep tale

gila niy penyakit susah tidur gw makin menjadi''.. kmaren gw tidur jam 9 pagi bo.. lately ive been sleeping with the shadow in my bed and the clouds upon my head *such a dork then* i dont know why but its hard to find my self asleep around 3 am.. i will crash on my bed around 3 am but ended up by facing my ipod or trying to close without falling to sleep at all.. by the end of the hour i'll be sleeping at 5/6 am *damn*

hari ini, secara ini weekend i think my body deserve a spoiled good "NITE" sleep but then it run out that i slept at 9am and finish it by woke up at 3 pm huh what a spoiled sleep?? i really need a goodnite sleep lately since im having this sindrom of hard to sleep at night.. i mean really hard. im not talking about a few minutes, but are up all night tossing and turning and tossing and still find it really hard to hooked up my self with agood sleep!!

I love my bed, just laying there on my back thinking of all sorts of wicked thoughts :) *giggles*
Im glad that i had my bed but that doesnt work that way for my sleep pattern which is goin to be worse than before especially this few days!! why?? bcause im dealing with a relationship curse =( i hate how the things goin on now but its better be this way tou..

homsick

yup, its what im having now hehehe uda 5 bulan gw ga pulang ke jakarta and it seems too much for me, i miss dedek, mamah, bombom hehehe bokap ma adek gw yg uda gede *sikingkong* itu di skip ajah dari list orang yg gw kangenin ;) humf.. how i wish im at home now and just spending a Quality time with dedek to watch him playing PS.. padahal sekarang gw lagi smsan ma nyokap gw lho, tapi bisa aja yah masi kerasa kangen!! dasar anak mami niy gw =( padahal da mo 4 taon gw tinggal diluar hahaha homesick still become a problem for me.. aniwei gw juga kangen banget ama nasi gila hahaha disabang ada tuh nasi gila yg enak dipojokan lampu merah arah mo ke pissa kafe.. nendang banget deh pedesnya buat pecinta pedes.. aaahh jadi makin kangen kan gw!! kangen semua hal ttng jakarta, damn too much to leave behind when we leave jakarta because there's no place as hommy as jakarta where u can find anything you want ;) good morning jakarta and see youo in december *hopesoo*

Black Eyed Peas

ada yg lucu dari black eyed peas for the last few days.. hehehe dua hari berturut'' gw ktmu ma personilnya di club dan accidentally i cant even recognize them... even when they were performing some song on the stage ;P mungkin klo gw fansnya BEP kali yah baru gw dengan easily recognize them hahaha kocak ajah klo gw pikir'' pasti bakalan lucu niy klo gw ceritain ke evan hahaha dia kan ngefans berat ma BEP ampe bela''in mao dari bali ke jakarta buat nnton konsernya kmaren plus check in dihotel yg sama cuma dengan harapan bisa foto bareng hahaha kok bisa yah ada yg ngefans ampe sgitunya ya bo?? secara mereka juga manusia kan?? punya kaki-tangan, makan kentang (bukan nasi) dan sama'' boker tiap pagi *apa siy* knapa jugaada org yg ngefans ampe segitunya kayak si evan yah?? ABG banget lho van!! halah hari ginin masi kyk abg, gmana mo dapet cewek hehehe uda ah jadi ngatain orang deh gw...

capee deh..

pernah ga siy lo ngerasa capee bgt?? hehehe mungkin capee adalah simplest things that might be happen to anyone, anywhere.. nah skrg gw lai ngerasa cape banget.. cape buat bangun, cape buat duduk, cape buat mikir, cape buat makan.. aah klo bisa gw cuma mau ada dalam "safebox" gw alias kamar gw tanpa any disturbtion.. maunya tidur ajah ampe kapan kapan deh, gw ga usah bangun'' dan ga usah berfikir.. what a life?? actually what a lazy life?? but i wish for it since nothing is going rite when i tried to think about something..