my regret its not him

pernah ga siy lo ngerasa feel guilty abt something that u had done and wish u can take it back?? im now.. im having this kind of fever tonite, gw ngerasa klo keputusan gw buat lanjut kul lagi di negeri sebrang tuh salah deh.. soalnya sekarang kul gw ga jelas bgt dan akhirnya gw nganggur ampe jan taon depan itupun blom confirm!! gw ngerasa gw da ngebuang waktu gw setaon ini dengan percuma and too many i had fun in it.. gw ngerasa klo gw dulu ikut kata bokap nyokap dan temen'' gw yg selalu membujuk dan mengiming'' gw buat kul dijakarta, gw pasti da mao lulus niy!!! padahal it just 1 year frm my diploma.. dulu gw ngerasa klo gw da betah dinegri ini, mgkn karna gw ngerasa da betah dsini, tanggung cuma 1 more year too an international degree and mau mencoba give a more time for someone too.. someone which i love and care about, someone which i would like too share all my morning breath with.. someone that i really do wanna be with.. se-nyesel''nya gw karana uda wasting my 1 year life, wasting my dad money, wasting my Quality time with my family, wasting my friends in jakarta, wasting my everything for this one year but i NEVER REGRET the time that i been with him..

biarpun untuk bisa give a moretime for him berarti gw harus jauh dari semua keluarga gw, harus jauh dr temen'' gw yg mengakibatkan gw waste 1 tahun buat dapetin degree ataupun waste duit bonyok gw, waste planning gw dan semuanya tapi gw ga pernah nyesel karna gw dateng kesini buat give a more time for me and him..

but this morning he said that ini semua salah gw.. yup salah gw, sakit gw dengernya apalagi dari mulutnya dia.. someone to whom i do all of this things.. mungkin dia bener, emang gw yg terlalu keenakan ampe ga masuk kelas lah and just wasting my time by sit around doin nothing.. tapi gw ga maksud kok buat ga masuk kelas ataupun terlalu nyatai ngadepin kuliah gw, i tried too fix it but i cant, im sorry but i promised myself that i will try it harder if i have a second chance..

once, i was hope that i'll have a chance too give him more time for us.. then when i had it, it all seems that gw cuma melakukan sebuah hal yg percuma.. gw tau dan gw sadar klo hub gw ma dia susah buat dibawa jauh kedepan makanya gw mau manfaatin semua waktu yg gw punya buat give a besttime for both of us.. mungkin gw yg salah, gw berharap terlalu tinggi, and when i fall it feels hurt.. akhir'' ini merupakan worst day gw.. i cried a lot and i just feel that nothing is goin to be better with me or with me and him anyelse with all my problem i shouldnt involve him in it..

ahh WTH lepas dari itu semua gw tetep aja ga ngerasa nyesel cuma gw ngerasa feel guilty aja ke bonyok gw atas apa yg uda terjadi cuma klo dia ngerasa ini semua adalah sebuah kesalahan, maka this all will be a mistake from the beginning...

maybe its my mistake to be here...
maybe its my mistake to give more time for us..
maybe its my mistake to love you..
and it will be my mistake for everything we been through..
but i never regret each seconds that we had together by that mistake...
and i never regret for each second i love you..